Wednesday, January 25, 2006:
just when i thought i was all hyped up about going, i read another person's blog about the fun-ess of jc life. grrr. i was psychoing myself into thinking that i'll be alright and stress-free from the jc environment.. but then the play part keeps coming up. aiyah. i dunno if i want to go or stay. ): ahh well. i'm going where God's taking me. He's greater than my greatest fear! so i guess i'll be okay there! and andrea said i could always go bunk in with her.. and there's ernest too, who said he could arrange something for me. yah. i'll be having loads of fun there!
so i'll be leaving in like, less than 24 hrs. nervous and scared. happy and glad.. so many mixed feelings. and i'm really gonna miss everything here. everyone. from brmc to evangel, from mg to ac, work people.. ahhh. God throws you such great challenges. and i feel so small. and i dont want to get out of this comfort zone which i've been living in for 16 yrs of my life.. sigh. i want so much to say no, and not follow the path the Lord has set out for me. sigh.. but anyway, its sooner or later. i just hope i can make the adjustments quick enough! yeah.
oh well. (: positiveness. always better. yeah. its hot ang moh boys.. here i come! >.<
a shout of praise.
9:43 PM
Tuesday, January 24, 2006:
To the eight of you..Thanks for being the greatest friends in school!
The recesses when we always eat together,How we never are able to find clean and empty tables for all 8 of us
Where Lee Mey never fails to buy her coke and burp into our faces at every meal
Where hui min (other wise know as minty/moonie) and her mushroom fetish at the yong tau fu stall
Where abi and Claire rush off to buy sting ray every Tuesday and Wednesday
Jia en and her buttered sandwiches
Weixin putting dark sweet sauce into her yong tau fu
Laura who so stealthly puts the plates back everyday for us when we don't look
When we tried to have lunchbox days every Friday
Queing up for the same food every recess
When we threw jiaen a surprise birthday party with the sarah lee cheesecake and a pau for a cake
When we always rush back for a maths so we don't get caught by mr yeo because mey ALWAYS eats extra slowly and everyone has to wait for her
The lessons in class...With mey and jia en huddled together whispering during mr yeo's lessons, causing him to slam their table and tell them to keep quiet
Minty, who keeps falling asleep during lessons, but I'm sure she's just meditating on the words... :P
Claire and abi, who keep doodling in their diaries
Me and weixin taking our shoes and socks out in class
And laura who is ever so hardworking listening to the lessons
Or in the library..Where we made so much noise upstairs
When minty and mey play with the word games in readers digest, and have so much fun zapping away copy after copy of newsweek or times or some funny magazine that I don't understand.
The studying...For Chinese O's at my maplewoods meeting room
In the study room, but always end up talking instead
At the basketball courts, but we get so irritated and distracted by the ants
The outings...To sentosa, where we all got terribly burnt with the exception of miss goh, because she was the only one who bothered to put on her sunscreen lotion, while the rest of us just didn't care whatever happened to our skin...
Then was founders' day, and our skins peeled just in time for us to wear our dresses. Haha. But sadly, jia en couldn't join us for the dinner. ):
The trip to kbox right after prelims! We went crazy in that little room, jumping on the sofas celebrating the end of the horrid papers, so much so that the guys next door kept laughing at us.
For all the laughter and the fun that coloured up my life in sec4 in mg, thank you guys so so much. (: and we're all moving in different directions! To jcs, polys, overseas. Whatever it may be, take care okay! We'll meet up again soon! Stay in contact k! (:
a shout of praise.
1:57 PM
Sunday, January 22, 2006:
to the people at
i wont forget..
(in no particular order..)
kaye - the girl who brought me to study grp which subsequently "brought" me to church
clem - your english.. too profound.
dean - how you keep ignoring me whenever i say hi.
james - how you keep crossing your fingers on your cheek, just calling out for me to smack it
sarah - thanks for being so crazy, influencing me with all the funny language..
claire - all the troubles we went through! but came out of it stronger..
nat - going around with me at the home during carolling!
ken lee - stealing your muddy mud pie at paragon's coffee club
maurice - making music in the toilet with james
beng - for all the cell worship sessions which are ever so thought provoking.
eunice - running with you in the rain (:
ben tan - who kept forgetting my name the first few times i went to church..
daniel long - all your motivational talks during camp
joel tan - treating me to a movie
zhenyang - lending me your towel at ac orientation (:
delia - being our innocent cell leader
minfeng - me and eunice splashing you with water in the big big puddle
lifeng - wearing your scone shirt
dorcas - comparing our legs during games
zaneta - for your sweet sweet smile (:
prash - being so crazy abt man utd :S
justin khoo - for telling me and kaye abt the diff species of trees in s'pore when we went for the swim meet
hannah wong - for scolding me for buying so little during my bangkok trip during cell extravaganza
edmund - for disturbing me while playing captain's ball. hmph.
the sec1s of 2005 (
mich,
maxy,
kara) - for being so involved with guys at their age!
chris - for all the crazy times at metafusion and for even getting me the job in the first place
bryan - the party at your house
zong - for being so mean to the macdonalds delivery man
wesley - for being on the news
jerome - teaching us how to fake a kiss for the camera
bang - for whacking me with the sponge thingys at cell extravaganza
yx &
ken chin - for being so successfully irritating with your stupid flybys
jonwong - my little brother (who's so grown up!)
cheryl &
debbie! - praying for you two at camp
wycliff &
patrick doug - for being so gay! :p
alex, kwee san &
charlotte - for being the world best sunday school tchers! (:
sandra - for letting me wipe my specs on your shirt during camp
deanne - praying for me at camp
and to whoever else i forgot, many sincere apologies. (: but i'd like to thank everyone for being so warm and welcoming at brmc! (: thanks for giving such a wonderful experience serving in this church and i wanna continue being in this blessed community too.. (: so cheers everyone. god bless this church, and help it to grow, physically and more importantly, spiritually, together as one church.
thanks a bunch.
a shout of praise.
11:10 PM
Thursday, January 19, 2006:
highlights of 2005
jan: finding out that our bio teacher changed. doing crazy stuff with evangel (like the tree top walk!). talking alot to bang over sms! getting into cheerleading.
feb: failing english, going to ngee ann with abi and cla and minty for late lunch, mr tay predicting that there will be a flu pandemic at the end of the yr (did it happen? no right!), confiscated discmans, my birthday, CSI project
march: sec 4s getting their results back x( (our turn soon!), swimming heats where keziah and i purposely swam slowly for the 400m free and got scolded by all the PE teachers, learning to play the guitar, my $1 allowance per day period, MOE changing the system back to the normal 3 mths thing where we have to take prelims again...
april: actually being happy abt going to perth, selling bittersweet symphony tickets at brmc in mg uniform, track and field meet - cheerleading for olson (: we got 2nd place!! woots~, this really really cute stranger buying me flowers at bittersweet (who i found out later was called roy.. haha. the whole thing was so funny. i still remember.. but we dont really talk anymore. hehe) , dying from studying.
may: being crazy about this japanese show called
good luck (me and jiajia were like, head over heels over it!), vandalism in school (this was probably around the same time as the burnt lockers in barker. hehe!), starting to plan for evangel's church camp, re-ignition of the kap study group (didnt really work out in the end though..), flag day for MWS, starting of the eight blog (such a pity we dont continue it, it only lasted for 2 mths. ): ), chinese o's and studying for it in the maplewoods conference room with mey, minty and abi, the work thingo that we had at school.
june: school hols! church camp where drew came (still rmb how daryl and shawn were supposed to come but they didnt cos they went for the darwin trip), sentosa with the 8, holiday problems, studying with kaye at kap, the day that mike, jon tan and jamie/boxer came to mg to try out the floor for social day (but in the end they didnt dance for it)
july: o level chinese oral, founders day,studying.. mock exams!
august: watching charlie and the choc factory with the class!, sonicfest, FOP, NDP, inkwell, practicals for prelims, getting back chinese results, the release of the 6th book of harry potter, english oral, studying somemore.. prelims!
sept: kbox-ing with the eight on the last day of school, catching up with zhen and mey. more holiday problems, ice skating with abi, minty, and mey, lovemg thanksgiving dinner @ emma's house, making pie at abi's house!, cleansing stream retreat thingy, longest day, piano exam, the formation of the BTP study group(26th!), prelim results, joining brmc 8.30 yss
oct: more studying with the study group, the cute little boy on the car thing, the chivalry grading system, drew's lung thing, last proper day of school, bacculaureate svc, start of o's - practicals, 2nd round of chinese exam..
nov: mug mug mug from 8-6 with the study group at BTP everyday.., teaching james a math, nagging at the guys to study and end of O's! (19th.. still remember me and kaye and sam screaming in the corridor of some sec 1 class cos it was all over! :D ), my first time at cell - topic was purity i think! haha., movie night @ evangel, spending full days at church (8.30, 10.30, out for lunch and come back for games), carolling, watching exorcism of emily rose with shawn, going to the airport to send the evangel people off for mission trip to cambodia, tuition class party, dying my hair at dean's house!!, going to support james at his swimming competition, lots and lots of outings with the study group, going cycling with the study group!
dec: yss camp, going out lots with various people, carolling prac - having a sec4 dinner at pasta mania once before a prac, cell, death, sarah going for missions, going to the homes for carolling, christmas is.., BANGKOK! :D, jc posting to yjc, movie marathon @ kaye's house, cell extravanganza, getting stuff at mustafa with my mom for aust, xmas gathering with my extended family on my mom's side, going to aunty celia's house and drinking my very first alcoholic drink - gin and tonic, xmas!! going to dean's house, falling sick, being rude to the yjc ogl, getting my new laptop, watchnight! - getting whiny on peach and ruby grapefruit bacardi, hooch. experience of a pimpstress.
- + -
ahhhh. was a glorious and eventful year.. topped with loads of suprises here and there. realised alot of things have changed in my life just in the span of one year.. friends, both close and distant, attitudes, perspectives, values, character, personality... but nonetheless, it has been a great year, and i'm thankful to God for blessing me an enormous amount.. (:
anyway. to
zhenyang and
joel! tmr you guys are going off to army! hahaha. off with the hair! lol. cant quite imagine.. but. good luck to the two of you! and god bless too! haha. have a wonderful experience at army. :D
a shout of praise.
9:14 PM
sometimes i wonder if i do things in a haste. like for example cancelling my party for fusion. i mean i really really do want to go, and so did everyone else, but then now people either say that they dont want to go, or like they've got other stuff on. right. so.. what's happening now. sigh.
maybe i should talk to Him about it.
a shout of praise.
5:44 PM
ehhey.. haha. blogging at work again (: again while waiting for the ARs to finish downloading. it really takes a while. cant go more than 4 downloading windows at a go. so weird. there's something wrong my laptop. -frowns- mhmm. today's like half day i think. but going out after maybe. or maybe i should just go home to catch up on sleep. even coffee doesnt seem to be working today. haha. the caffeine has lost its effect. -yawns- mhmm. was browsing thru google earth again yesterday with my mom (yeah, some mother-daughter time) and we were marking out places in perth.. so that when i get there i sort of know roughly my whereabouts and location. somewhat. navigating on google earth really amused my mom. "this programme is so educational!" haha. yah. actually its quite fun (: marked out alot of places in s'pore and boy am i proud to say that i have a more or less good sense of direction.. :P
actually i'm starting to warm up to the idea of going away to perth. maybe its because i'm getting influenced here at work by the people who studied/studying there, giving me advice and stuff on what to do and where to go there. or maybe its because everyone's so busy with school that there isnt really much to do but want to go to school.. like there's a need to study. i really do miss it.
1. i miss sitting in lessons trying to listen to the teacher but getting distracted with my pencil or the going-ons outside the window
2. counting down to the bell for recess or for school to end
3. getting homework and procrastinating about it.
4. i miss the socialising and fraternising with classmates,the occasional hellos from the other sec4s from the other end of the corridor at 10.35 or 2.05
5. the teachers - both funny&loud and boring&lame. haha. (mummy & daddy of 4b1! :D ) ms tan with her drum stick going around tapping (more like hitting.. :S ) people on the shoulder during english, mr yeo for nagging at us all the time esp picking on mey and jiajia for talking in class (and they're right in front somemore. goodness), mrs r. ong for her boring boring lessons on LORMs not history or ss, mrs e. chan for her slow instructions for PE, mrs cheong for her blonde jokes, mrs chong's rainforests ;p and her gushing abt her sons and husband and overseas trips, lao shi for being ever so encouraging all the time, miss sim for being so motivational and for her strange laughter, which makes me laugh, and also for advising us how to tell buff from beige and white from pale blue while in chem lab.
6. getting up at like, 7am and rushing out of the house by 7.05am (otherwise i'll be late for school, its a long walk up the hill okay!) for school
7. sleeping in class, hugging the pillars (esp the staff room ones - when the staff room was still accessible last time)
8. getting wet in the toilets while waiting for mr tay to stroll into class after our PE lesson (cos its bio next) and say "aiyo, girls.."
9. i miss trying to open the lock to my locker but to no avail cos i keep forgetting the combi, so i end up dumping my hp and discman or mp3 into one of the eight's lockers then rushing for assembly (or maybe its always just because i'm forever just on time for school and there isnt much time for opening the lockers.
10. whining about the lack of free periods so that we can go to the feezing north pole library to chillout with mey and minty (who keeps photocopying stuff from journals like the economist, and playing word games in reader's digest.) while me and abi go use the computer terminals.
11. eating recess everyday with the eight, where we have to wait for our dear princess goh lee mey to finish chewing her food and drinking up her coke. and claire having her jack and jill chilli potato chips. while minty and me hunt for crunchy guava. lol. and then rushing back to class on tuesdays, thursdays and fridays before mr yeo gets into it for math or a math and locks us out after a thorough lecture-and-booking session for our late arrival when we had half an hour (plenty of time for him but not for us, or rather, miss goh :p ) for our recess.
12. going for camps, like OBS, adventure camp, LTC etc.. it was always loads of fun. and i enjoyed it alot. (: raises the whole level's unity and its a great for nurturing THE mg spirit.
13. even the mugging for exams (even though it can seem like a chore and i do hate it sometimes, but if you do it with friends, it seems alot easier cos we're all facing and doing it together, so you dont feel so alone in this whole exam situation)
14. assembly, where we mouth
majulah singapura and the school song, and say the pledge, greeting with "
good morning ms kon/mrs yap/mrs sim, good morning teachers" in our really tiny voices.. and then getting reprimanded by mrs yap for not being loud enough and then we end up having to greet again/staying back for a while sometimes just to sing the school song again so that its audible enough for her.
15. but what i miss most is monday chapel, and the daily devotions.. its a good start to the week of school and refreshes me everyday with God's word.. although i must admit of being quite tired on certain days, so i end up stoning instead of listening to the pastors/ms kon/mrs yap/mrs sim/mrs chang/mrs robers.
man. i do miss school alot. its not just mg.. its the whole affair of going to school that i miss. i dont want to admit it, but i love school. really. i do. so maybe thats why i dont mind going now. so that i'll have something constructive to do (not that work isnt constructive, its just.. not proper work. i dont go out to get clients right.) and i'll have a few friends there too. (although quite a distance from school, but still perth! :p and a couple of school friends already.. i dont think (or at least i hope) life would be great there. so i'm anticipating the 29th. no its not chinese new year, its orientation. although i'll be missing out in the fun of collecting-our-ang-paos,-hide-in-the-room-with-your-cousins-and-lock-the-door-to-open-the-ang-pao-and compare-the-amount-of-money-we-all-get (its a really really rude, bad habit. haha. but its like a tradition already :D ) part, i'm sure i'll be having fun touring the school and all. getting used to the uber large environment i'll be calling home for 2006. yeah. i'll be alright.
this is your life
are you who you want to be
are you everything you dream to be?
a shout of praise.
11:17 AM
Wednesday, January 18, 2006:
bleah. the ARs are taking ultra long to download. so i thought while waiting i'll just blog. hahaha.
goodness. last night was terrible. i slept soooo late. and i didnt dl much. :S i got distracted alright. distracted by making blog templates (thats why you see a brand new template for my blog! :D ) and i was marking places on google earth. cool.
did i say how i've got no patience? i do btw, if you didnt know already. i dont like waiting for things to happen. things to drag on. and standing around doing nothing. and waiting for late people to arrive. today was another perfect example. my dear working partner, was late! for like, what. the.. 5th time. i think. haha. i'm not blaming him, it just that i'm always early. i could have made use of the time to do more constructive things. like. sleeping for another ten minutes. explains my stoning. oh well. but doesnt matter. it just gives me some thinking time. and to just be still.
mhmm. its a week and a day before i go. so many things to do. so much stuff to get and pack. i've got a ginormous luggage case to bring there. i still have to get stationery.. and like. instant noodles or something. though i dont know how i'm gonna squeeze in a whole term's supply of noodles with the pile of clothes that i'm bringing there. and its not even my whole wardrobe. haha. :D i'll need more clothes though! i wonder how i'm going to get used to studying. i think i've forgotten alot of stuff. for example, ytd, my friend was asking me for chem formulae and i couldnt really rmb. i had to think for a bit to make sure its correct, when last time it would just be at the tip of my finger. kristi oh kristi. what has happened to your brain. it has degenerated to such a state that even the formula for nitrate seems so foreign. NO3 -! how could you forget. i need to start studying again. exercise the cerebrum.
i am going to sleep early tonight. hopefully lah, if i dont have anything better to do.. i think my eyes are going to look like somebody socked them very soon. and i have to get used to sleeping early anyway. i think perth's time is ahead. so sleeping time will be earlier than s'pore. i think. yeah. have to get used to that! i have like. 3 days to get used to the time difference (though i dont suppose it'll be that bad.. its only a few hours ahead i think!) but still, better no jetlag than any at all. hence, i resolve to change my sleeping habits.
heh. it took me half an hour to write this. its 10.50 already! i should get back to the downloading. we've got approximately 7 and a half more letters to go. :D we'll be done soon, i hope! :D i cant wait to finish doing this. its dragged on for
too long.. (i've got no patience rmb! and the novelty
is wearing off.. i feel like whining...) okayokay. back to work.
a shout of praise.
10:56 AM
Tuesday, January 17, 2006:
eh. i still havent finished the copying and pasting, cos i did halfway and played around with google earth cos i just downloaded it (as a result, i slept late). :S so tedious. didnt really feel like doing work in the office today, was quite a gloomy day cos i was tired out from the late night and i didnt have that good a sleep either.. but oh well. i said i'm going to do the copying at home. hehe. so i'm gonna do it later. again. oh well. unless i get distracted of course.. mhmm.
google earth makes me curious. i wonder how it works.. does everyone get their own personal satelite launched when they download it? weirdness. and like, how do they manage to get everything! this new thing is so cool. and i spent the whole of last night looking for orchard road on it and i cant find it. and i tried my house too. nada. >.<>pang seh (haha, cant think of a better word) the a levels. hmmm.
anyway. love mg comm mtg on monday, and i have to prepare my testimony of God's faithfulness in my life, and how he's led me all this while.. they're gonna film me and rach.. sigh. pray for me, so that i will say stuff that is of relavance somehow to the girls past and present.! i hope i can get everything prepared by then! :S seems like so much to think abt. we were thinking abt sharing o's. hmm. and what i feel sad abt is that lovemg's been postponed to 26th may. so i wont be able to make it.. BLEAH. oh well. i'll be there to support them in spirit! (and in the video too!)
hmm.. i should start on work. i'm really behind now :s
lord have your wayin us.
a shout of praise.
10:57 PM
Monday, January 16, 2006:
today, well today was yet another working day. i could seriously get used to working at a company. its quite a relief trying to spend all your time and energy on something that doesnt need much thinking. (as in thinking about other stuff. just abt the work that you are doing.) i can see why people actually work so late into the night now. either running away from problems - to escape and numb the pain with the enormous work load, and to use work as an excuse, as a distraction. its not bad either, to drown yourself with a more-than-you-can-handle load of work. better than ending your life and better than facing the problems that you have. and getting paid while you're at it too. haha.
of course, not that i have any problems. but working has just made me see stuff. haha. and that the working world isnt as easy as you think. there's lots of stuff to be done. late nights. loads of caffeine boosters. no time for family or friends, and unhappy clients. a 9-5 work job really sucks up your time. and all you want to do after working so hard is just find a bed and curl up in it and go to sleep in comfort. hmm. sounds so good.
ah well. today was a joke. was given the task of downloading a whole list of annual reports (see
this) there must be at least 500. gosh! and like me and chris thought we had to dl the WHOLE thing by the end of today cos the guy said to finish it before we leave (we thought leave meaning
end of the day before we go home), and we were SO worried we couldnt finish (i mean, by 4.30 we were still at
c and
s! - he started from the top, while i started from the back).. and the punch line was that the guy meant finish it before we leave
the company. OMG. by the time we left the company, it was abt 6.50.. we cabbed back in the end.. woah. this was so stupid lah! haha. all i did today was stare at a screen. and clicked the mouse a gazillion times. you would think that by the time i get home i would stop using the laptop. but nahh. i think i'll continue downloading the ARs. haha. maybe i'll finish this whole thing by tmr. then we can get back to watching movies! haha.
the ARs beckon. i shall go entertain them.
work is crazy by the way. but fun all the same (:
have you heard of the one called saviour?
a shout of praise.
9:28 PM
Sunday, January 15, 2006:
just got home from a really rigourous game of captain's ball at church cos i went for games after church! haha. saw lots of new faces too. people from wesley came! (: (: (: quite fun lah. just that edmund bek bullied me. ): hahha. terrible i tell you! got to complain to hannah wong. hahaha. anyway. today was the second last sunday at church! i feel so sad. and its the last time i'll see zhenyang and joel too! hahah. they're going into army on friday! good luck good luck! haha.
there's
fusion on sat. i cant wait to go! so that means the party on the 21st is off k! haha. anyway, i bet most of you wanna go for fusion anyway! go okay! (: its really good. 7pm at faith methodist. its like. near commonwealth. yes.
i feel quite happy. caught up with james dean and clem today, talked quite a bit. (: feels like i havent seen them in ages! cos of school and all.. and it felt quite good joking with them again. shared stuff too. and i just felt quite blessed to have them. cos i know that they will still be there even if i havent talked to them in a long while. (: thank god. really.
got orientation pics from oliver just now. (: TEEHEE. whoohoo! go nautilus! these were taken right after we had a roll in the muck on the last day of orientation.. :\ disgusting! but all for one and one for all!
ahh. God IS good. (: all the days of my life.
and all the world will singof your great love
a shout of praise.
8:17 PM
okay. i feel alot better (: solved my problem. praise God! God is good.
just got back from reunion dinner and i just feel really sad that i'm going to leave all my cousins and aunts and uncles and my grandparents too! i mean, even though i'm not all that close to them.. i just feel so funny not going to be able to see them during the family gatherings! like chinese new year, birthdays, national day.. etc. and like i'm going to miss joanna (she's one of my favourite cousins, and she's really sensible and rational for her age) the most! and my 3rd aunt.. ): bleah. i got alot of goodbye presents. you know. its like 12 days more. i wish i could turn back time somemore. its going to be so hard leaving singapore. but its time for a fresh start i guess! once i leave, i'll be alright. (: hopefully.
you know, i admire my 3rd aunt for her patience. one of her sons have like a speech problem and is super hyperactive and demands alot of attention otherwise.. he'll just try to get attention in various ways i will explain later how so. anyway. we were watching tv when suddenly a little hand reaches out and changes the channel and he just walks away. LIKE WHATTTT. we were watching the tv LAH. and then my mom scolds him. and makes him change the channel back.
another instance. me and my cousin was sitting on this 2 sitter sofa, and like i wanted to plait her messy hair so i asked her to sit down on the floor in front of me. the thing is that my presents and my cousin's (from my aunt who didnt come for the xmas gathering) were on the floor, so i put it on the seat that she was originally in, and i started to plait her hair. and this dear cousin of mine, PLOPPED HIMSELF ONTO THE SEAT WITH ALL OUR STUFF and just sat right on top of them. OMG. i could have shouted at him. grr. and then me and my cousin were like, moses, can you please get off our stuff. all he did was just smile and continued playing with his gameboy advanced. LIKE WTH. and so we repeated ourselves nicely again. he had no reaction. we got quite frustrated. and we just raised our voice a little more after that and on and on in ascension. no reaction. he was purposely doing it i tell you! and the cardboard box that my present was in was like deflating cos of his butt pressure. i couldnt take it and i just asked my aunt to ask him to get off our stuff. he shifted abit to let us yank the presents out. he's too much i tell you. but what shocked us the most was what my uncle (his dad) did. he slapped him. :\ we were shocked. but didnt say anything. like what sarah would say.. OHMYSON!!
after those few incidents (there were alot more. just that i wasnt there to witness. he pushed my 3 yr old cousins into the wall and the fan and they came out of the room crying. he is such a terror sometimes) i just am glad that i dont have to deal with children yet. and i'm quite amazed with the patience my aunt has for my cousin. i mean like this pri 4 or 5 yr old kid who needs so much attention.. i dont think i can do it. so i really look up to my aunt.
i'll put my tagboard back up soon (: no more spamming! okay!
a shout of praise.
12:18 AM
Saturday, January 14, 2006:
hey people. just decided to take off my tagboard for a while. things are getting quite out of hand on it.
jerome>> no lah. NO sparks anywhere.
weird and anon >> you know, i'm sure that i havent been really talking behind claire's back. really. i've only been sharing my problems and asking for advice among a few of my close friends. and yes, i do hope i can resolve this before i fly off.
claire >> i dont know whats happening between us. and i do need to talk to you. whenever you're ready.
someone said that God throws you these problems only to make you stronger in your faith and that you'll learn to come to depend on Him instead of your own strength. but sometimes all it seems to me is just making me feel more distant from God than getting closer to Him. i question myself, why cant things be less complicated. why cant life be simpler. and then i realise that Satan is crafty and scheming. He's trying means and ways to dim the light that leads me. and discernment now becomes really important. to seperate the truth from the lies. i guess in a way God is trying to toughen me up. i want to be strong. yet i feel so weak. this verse just came to me. isaiah 40:33 -
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their stregth. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary. they will walk and not be faint. and i will be at peace. eventually.
god just teach me to run on your strength, to soar on your wings.
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
i will be still and know You are God
if anyone has anything to say, sms, msn, call, email, talk to me face to face. thanks.
a shout of praise.
3:55 PM
Friday, January 13, 2006:
i realised something today during worship at cell. you know, God has been gracious all along. God has provided me with a great family (even though we have a mighty lot of conflicts, but at least that goes to show we care for each other) and supportive friends (who i can share stuff with, and know that they will be there for me and trust me at the end of the day) and for giving me life (even though i think my life isnt that great, God has a purpose for my life, so thats the bonus. and i bet its not as bad as i think it is). and even though i may stray away, He still will forgive me, as long as i repent and ask Him. God hears my prayers alright. and thought He might take a while to reply and answer them, its all in perfect and good time.
so whatever i'm facing now, nothing is too great for My God to handle. and yes.
i will live to love Youi will live to bring You praisei will live a child in awe of Youand i do want to learn to live like mary, not martha, and have a childlike faith in Jesus. i want to be sitting at His feet listening to every word He has to say to me. and i want to come to bask in the joy of just being in His presence. i remember a friend said once, that the great thing about dying and going to heaven is the ability to just be in God's presence, but he wasnt able to fanthom how great that will be. and i'm sure it will be great. and at the end of the day, i do want to go to heaven. and my one way ticket? to love him. love him, and everything will fall into place. thats true isnt it?
you know. this is the major turning point of my life. the next step is a really giant leap. and i still dont know if i'm ready for it. i mean, come on! its australia. out of my comfort zone, distancing myself from the close network of friends, away from the support group that i have even! whats in it for me besides a TEE cert? like, whats wrong with an A level cert? i can do it. (i think) but i guess in the end, i must believe that God has a greater purpose for my life, and His plan is always bigger and He does know more! so i'm sure i'll be fine, and God will continue to be gracious to me. i have nothing to worry about. right?
life is interesting. in both good ways and bad. but no matter what, i'm going to let God be in control. and Amen to that. (:
a shout of praise.
11:22 PM
it just had to happen again..
trust. heh. what a powerful word. i'm not going to depend on anyone again. not going to open up, and make myself vulnerable.
anyway. i'm at work now. just had lunch and i'm stuffed. ate too much already. had a wonderful lunch with chris and his uncle and eugene at this wayy cool western place and i had salmon teriyaki and it was yummy. (: thanks to uncle francis for treating us to lunch! hehehe. have to go clear the upstairs store room again. its a mess. and the designers are laughing at us cos we procrastinate a whole lot.. ITS SO SO DIRTY UP THERE. my hands get all. black and dusty. heehee.
actually. i'm quite glad i'm away from home. at least i have time away from facing the leaving thing. sigh. talked to ben last night on msn. he's a great youth leader.. (: and i'm glad that i told him some stuff, and i guess getting advice from an adult is always more comforting and reassuring.. i shall keep myself focussed on my God. and keep talking to Him. i guess its going to be hard, especially if i fall away, cos i dont have anyone to push me back and keep me strong. but i guess i shall not worry about all of these now. i will let God control my life and run it for me. (:
a shout of praise.
1:41 PM
Thursday, January 12, 2006:
another day at work. quite fun really. nothing to do, and i sit around watching my season 3 of OC. LOL. at least i've got someone to watch it with. i really wonder if we're getting paid! i'd feel quite bad if i do. cos we're not really doing anything! like today, all i did was help them check the accounts abit, and then i did some typing, and some vetoing.. bits here and there. haha (: all the nonsense that i do. bleah. feel quite guilty. oh well. :D i'm just glad that the people we work under are willing to entertain me. and that they really are quite nice people! and i am happy to know them.
just got myself thinking of my future and what it holds. i just pray that god will guide me and lead me in whatever direction i'm of use in. i guess i'm just confused and lost in my direction. and i am pretty sure that i want to end up in media and comm. but what if there is something greater out there, a purpose that i'm supposed to fufill? i just ask that He will grant me the wisdom to choose the right thing. not to follow what i want or what people want. but to do what He wants.
and i am really disappointed in one thing. i just hope everything will be resolved soon.
what am i to you?
a shout of praise.
7:27 PM
Wednesday, January 11, 2006:
a shout of praise.
7:57 PM
so today was working day! (what work?) right. so the first thing that we did wrong was to get there late, cos chris woke up late and then he said he'd come pick me up and guess what, by the time he came was 9.20 (!!) and work was supposed to start at 9.30! like, OMG. but like chris was so relaxed. he said not to worry. and i was like, hello! we're like LATE! and i realised why. its his uncle's company! like, duh. oh well. but today was quite fun lah. although we really didnt do much, we just sat around. sorted out stuff, tidied the tables, answered phone calls (actually chris answered all, haha. i really sucked at answering calls, but i WILL improve in this 2 weeks there! hahah), photocopied stuff, and did the faxing. was fun lah (: and the people were really friendly and all. its quite a small company. but their clientele is huge. haha. its amazing how they can cope. so thats why they need people like me and chris :D just kidding lah. i'm quite sure they'll manage fine without us. haha. i think i would like to work in such a company. (: maybe i can still get a job there after i graduate. (: HEHE. it'll be quite cool. and i want to learn stuff from the designers! (: (: (: oh well. more updates later.
a shout of praise.
7:12 PM
Tuesday, January 10, 2006:
HEEHEE.. went out today for lunch at holland and then to bryan quek's house. ITS HUGE! like 10 times the size of my mini house. hahaha. It was a party for mEEEE. haha. and so many sec 4s came! bryan (duh), bang, maurice, beng, dean, clem, chris, zong, wesley, jerome.. and like the pathetic bunch of girls. haha. me, kaye, claire, sarah! hahaha. was quite funny. was supposed to sit down and enjoy a show of leagally blonde 2, when dean grabbed my legs and i think bryan grabbed my arms and they dragged me to the pool (and i mean literally dragged) and threw me into it. grrrr. i was expecting the dunk, but not so soon! >.< stupid dean. nothing better to do eh! and i got so wet wet wet! but anyway. (: was quite fun lah. then everyone pushed everyone in! and there were some stories coming from that but i shall not digress. (: LOL! and poor zong. always get bullied by wesley and jerome and chris. haha. dont be so mean lah! haha.
and wesley!! got his phone and wallet wet cos we didnt know that he had his phone in the pocket! haha. oops. LOL! then maurice and dean had a mini boxing match, which dean managed to bruise maurice, which made maurice swear not to box again. teehee! we had a round of chocolate.. (: which was my favourite part of the day! then clem, dean, maurice, kaye, beng wanted to leave, so i thought i'd leave with them too (that was around 4 plus), then when i got to the bus stop, i decided to go back, cos i didnt want to leave so early. hehe! we all got really high on vanilla
water and sarsi! hahahha. right. (: especially sarah! she went mad. haha. and zong was like RED. lobster red. we played a few round of twister too! i almost got dunked into the pool again! stupid bryan quek! nothing better to do. and JEROME! you another culprit! grrrrr. but luckily they didnt (wooohooo. girl power), and since bryan had to go out for a dinner party, we all left after.
whee. today was quite fun lah. i've decided to enjoy whatever time i have left in singapore.. (: funnn. and i do have to go hunting for stuff to wear for the prom in aust! its like feb 17! apparently we're (andrea and nat and amanda and friends) are all going in a limo! coolness. haha. i've got the dress. now i need the accessories! :D like, heels and bag.. TEEHEE. its actually quite exciting.. but first. THE job. haha. yesyes. i have to go to work now! >.< haha! and i get to earn cash! wheee. then i'll splurge on the heels.. i need a new bible too. and i want a qt book! (:
okay. haha. off to watch season 3 of OC! i'm at episode 4.. (:(:(:
I LOVE THE OC.
(woots.)
a shout of praise.
7:35 PM
hmm. decided to add a longer post cos i'm terribly bored at home with nothing to do and its raining so i cant do anything, and since joel has abandoned me for dota (!! hmph) i shall make full use of this time to blog more.. hmm. so how really, has life been? besides the hectic schedule of acjc orientation, and all the nights out.. i guess i really havent been keeping in line with god. today when i went for 1030 ss, sandra asked us how we were, coping with school and how many of us actually has managed to stick to doing qt. and i guess that was in line with afterglow last night, cos daniel asked us the same question, after the spiritual high from yss camp, how many of us actually kept that flame burning inside us. the passion for christ, in a spiritual sense. and the thought that i havent really been sticking to the word is scary. especially after watching narnia. (i mean, even though its just fictious. but there is some christian aspect to it.) its just scary how we can get swayed easily by physical pleasures instead of the one thing that we should keep in the center -
god. i dunno.. hmmm. life really is interesting isnt it. how there are just somethings that seem so hard to overcome. some things which really are mountains that are so hard to move. that just wouldnt budge.
pride. hurt. hate. selfish love. selfcenteredness. but with god all things are really possible. and its at a time like this that i truely see the point in protecting myself with the word and the truth. but then again, i question myself if its really possible sticking to it. i keep failing each time i try. and time and time again, i get demoralised. i get lazy. i get complacent. i still have to keep trying i guess. maybe the point is the
heart. seek and you will find. kristi, you are god's child.
nothing is impossible. with god,
everything is possible because you have HIS spirit in you.
there is none like youno one else can touch my heart like you doand i could search for all eternity longand find there is none like you.
a shout of praise.
6:52 PM
just got back from a long day at church. went for double svc today. hehe. 830 sanctuary, then ss class followed by 1030 yss. hehe. watched narnia too! it was such a sad but happy movie. :D but i bet its gonna be one of my favourite movies. along with a walk to remember. :D alot of stuff from the movie really made me feel so touched.
1. the greatness of forgiveness - the part where aslan said to susan, peter and lucy when edmund returned to the good side, and they welcomed him back so freely. i guess this is how god is. even though we may fall over to the bad side, god will still welcome us back into his kingdom when we repent and realise our mistakes. cos he loves us so much!
2. how aslan died in place of edmund. how aslan was so willing to let the witch kill him. and let edmund go free, even though edmund was a traitor, and the traitors had to die. its like. whoa.. its just like jesus dying on the cross for us sinners. taking away the pain and suffering we otherwise will have to suffer. mhmmm.
3. the devotion of the good people to fight for a free narnia. like the centaur (during the battle scene where he wanted to kill the witch) and tumnus the faun (in prison at the castle of the witch) and the fox (when he told the wolves the direction in which the children went) and many many more. i would want to have this kind of devotion and determination. this kind of spirit that lives for not what i want but for god.
4. the wickedness of the witch made me realise how crafty satan is. and how we always fall short because he makes us stumble. he always finds something to make us trip and fall and even betray the people that we love. like how edmund fell into the witch's trap because he was seeking for things that were self-centered. and we may even spiral into deeper trouble because we want to make up for our mistakes, but things just seems to get worse. like how edmund tried to save the fox by spilling out what he had heard from the beavers about aslan's and his siblings' whereabouts, but the witch turned the fox into stone anyway. so, satan can make use of us too.
actually. there were lots more throughout the course of the show. but i just cant remember. the show was a good one. seriously. alot to learn from it. and i do want to read the book if i have time to.. and if its not difficult to follow. haha. anyway. its highly recommended by me! :D go watch it if you havent!
a shout of praise.
5:18 PM
Saturday, January 7, 2006:
hehe. just got myself a new tagbd. seemed like the old one wasnt working. :( now i've lost my whole long history of tags. sighh. oh well. :D thats alright. anyway. today i woke up really late, like 12. tired out from a whole week of orientation! >.<
tong-gan-gong-ku-ness of jc. haha. but ah well, i've got a better plan for my life. in aust. anyway. so i got to church around 3 plus, to give amath help session, and then watched beng and team practice for svc tmr, and it was quite funny, cos the drummer couldnt get the beat for tell the world. and i had chocolate! :D i havent had chocolate for the longest time! yumm. :D
dinner was entertaining. got a mini sombero from chris who just came back from mexico (!!), along with his newly learnt jokes, and we had a mass dance performance from beng, james, maurice, bang, bryan. man. they cant dance for nuts, cept maybe bang. haha. other than that, they really sucked. haha. but was really amusing watching them do the partner one. hehe. it was great to see the camp people at afterglow.. altho quite a bit of people didnt come. but nonetheless, it was nice catching up with them again. yeah. and what daniel spoke about was like a reminder. i keep getting the message to focus on the end.. maybe god's trying to tell me something. and yeah, to like keep him in the center. to stay in the center. lots to ponder about. but i've got to sleep soon. need to wake up early tmr! so. yeah. goodnight.
a shout of praise.
11:24 PM
so today marked the end of orientation! :) it was another fun day.. house mtg (i would have been in cks! :D ITS
BLUE! WOOHOO~) and then there was subject talk (they're gonna have introductory lessons next wk!) and then was games, really muddy ones again! and our OG went out for lunch at marche at suntec. really ex food, but its like, once in a while lah.. and there was this no smooching sign! haha. was quite a joke. :D we went bowling at marina square after that! haha.. I GOT A STRIKE! but besides that all the other throws ended up like. in the gutter :S i'm damn lousy! but thank goodness we didn't play pool! i think the ball would end up in someone's face and not down the hole. hahahaha. oh well. campfire was a party pooper though. just when we got the fire going it started to drizzle and it didnt stop, just got heavier! but thank god! we still had a wonderful programme in the badminton hall. and there was aircon too! tho a bit stuffy, but it was alright. :)
i think orientation was SOOPERDEDOOPER COOL! :D and funkayeee, and super FUN! (okay i'm running out of words!) i think i'll miss ac! and all the new friends that i've made, like, the people from NAUTILUS! my favourite cheer,
its alright, its okay, nautilus is gonna make it anyway! just keeps us going when we all feel so demoralised after losing games so many times in a row.. the double rainbow after all the rain ytd reminded me that god keeps his promises. so i know he'll protect me in aust. :) and he WILL provide me with everything i need! so i'm all set to go, with out any worries!
its alright, its okay, kristi's gonna make it anyway! yupp. :)
yeah. so anyway. there's afterglow tmr, giving ken a math tuition too! sunday's church, sarah's confirmation and all the sec4s (or rather, jc1s) are going to kwee san's house for the sec 4 (jc1) party. and on monday, its work! and love mg mtg.. phew, i'm such a busy bee! :D not that i'm complaining. :D
alright. i do need a bathe. off to the shower. ta!
hey, ac in the standslet me see you wave your hands (whoo~ whoo~)hey ac in the standslet me see you clap your hands (***********)hey ac in the standswho's the fairest in the landa-c-j-c, a-c-j-c!
a shout of praise.
12:20 AM
Thursday, January 5, 2006:
eeks. i have a big ugly bruise from learning the mass dance but i think the 2 dances are quite nice :D i'm shacked. and content. cos i went for another whole day of orientation, though i did feel like leaving halfway with like joel tan or smth! haha. and esp when i learnt we had to play muddy games in the field! can you imagine the ruggers when they play rugby! thank god i'm not a rugby player! i dont think i can stand it. i'd probably make some excuse every week to skip training. LOL. but anyway. i'm glad i didnt lah!
anyway! i feel like sleeping alr! i was almost late today! :S but got ready and out of the house in like, 2 mins! super i tell you! hahahaha. so my acquired skill from pri and sec sch of getting-out-of-the-house-in-less-than-5-mins hasnt deproved! teehee. :D
aiyah, whoever
me is. i dont really care. cos everyone crashes anyway :D so yeah! and i'm going to aust anyway! want to experience jc before i go!
okaylahokaylah. goodnight! :D
carnsir's gonna send a probe to uranus!
a shout of praise.
9:04 PM
Wednesday, January 4, 2006:
wow. am i shacked or what. just came back from an uber fun orientation at ac. there are like, so so many different people there, from like jurong sec all the way to like, bartley sec. boy, what a variety! haha. and there are plenty of ij and cresent and sc girls too! like. wow! yeah! anyway. it was really fun lah. :D and i'm glad i went. haha. the ogls were really nice too.. but actually, i'm quite glad i'm going aust lah. now that i've taken a peek at the system in jc. alot of independent learning, which i dont think i can do! haha. i think the only thing that i would regret abt not being in ac would be the PE lessons! we've got so much time for pe, like a total of 2hrs per week! we dont even get that long in upper sec for mg.. its double! and THEY HAVE SWIMMING PE! WAAAAAAAAA. not fair. i dont think there's pe anymore in aust. i wouldnt even mind doing napfa again! cept for the run. TEEHEE, but i think i'll manage, right? :D need to start packing already! blehhhh.
a shout of praise.
7:09 PM
Tuesday, January 3, 2006:
THERE IS NOTHING TO DO AT HOME! :( everyone's at school and i'm here. and i cant find comfort in any fact cos the fact is that everyone's at school doing something while i am at home not doing anything. what's the point! the point is, i'm NOT at ac! :( GRRR. i want to go out! >.< its NOT fair. at least there's the lovemg prayer mtg tonight! thats something! and maybe i'll go crash ac orientation! but i feel horrid if i do that. sigh! what else is there to do mann..
anyway. school's starting over there in less than a mth's time. and i'm flying off like 26th. its too soon. but i guess its better i leave and have something to do than mope around at home while everyone's at school doing smth! and i do need to get stuff! like shop for stationary, and maybe clothes for winter, and like important stuff! and i do need a pair of heels! for myself.. and for prom! i need new makeup too! aiyah. i need the money too! hahahah. maybe i could go find the australian people to hang around. like yixian, ken chin, chris yan, andrea etc. or like the j2'05 graduates. like. joel, nat, dunno who else lah! actually thats quite alot lah! and then there's people like jiaen and dean who want to go poly! haha.
okay. i think i should go do smth productive. like go for a run or cycle or smth.! but i'm too lazy! :( maybe i'll go see if there's something on kids central! like. big blue house :D goodbye folks.
a shout of praise.
8:24 AM
ehhhhhhhhhhh. its not fair its not fair its not fair!. i wanna go to school too. :( sigh. ehhhhh, like, the whole world is going to acjc and i'm not! :( claire, kaye, bryan quek, beng, bang, james, maurice, the mg pple, and more ac people. GRRR! :( i feel so sad. oh well. what can i do about it anyway. :( sigh.... no point thinking about it! heh.
went out with the study group today. haha. it was great really. cos everyone's really going seperate ways after today, and there probably wouldnt be anymore time to meet up. :( sigh. this is getting to me, i feel awfully SAD! and like. ahhhh! met for lunch at ccab for prata and then we took a stroll to orchard by the botanics way. hahah. quite cool! haha. there was like. so much greenery, and we were learning about secondary rainforests from clem and james. TEEHEE! quite educational! then we went to bibi and baba to buy uniforms and we went to get something to eat. then came home. yeah. today was a fun day. i'm gonna miss studying together. all the fun, nuah-ness, laughter, teasing, pointing, arm popping... ahh. :( and sam moved all the way to changi! sam! you're mad! anyway. i'm going to miss everyone lah... :'(
this post feels so depressing. haha. ah well. this can be a tribute to me. hahaha. anyway. life's gonna be interesting :D i shall be happy about it and wait for what god has in store for my life. yes. that should be the way.
This alabaster jarit's all I have of worthI lay it at Your feet LordIt's less than You deserve
Youre far more beautiful, more precious than the oil, the sum of my desires and the fullness of my joyLike You poured Your bloodI pour my heart as an offering to my King
Here I am, take me, as an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your gloryWorthy, Worthy, You are Worthy, Worthy is the Lord-alabaster jar
a shout of praise.
6:48 PM
i feel quite stupid actually. sometimes i think i slip up and say stuff that i dont mean to. sigh. i dont know when i'll ever say the right thing. i guess, maybe i should shut up from now on. maybe then i wouldnt make so many mistakes.
a shout of praise.
8:52 PM
went for shineforth just now and lunch and i just got home. hahaa. i'm feeling tired, but i dont feel sleepy enough to sleep. hmmm. :( what should i do. i wanna go some one's house and watch a dvd. or watch like family stone or something. haha. joel tan! where's the free movie ticket? haha. but i guess using the computer is just as fun. i need to go download more yahoo games to play. TEEHEE! :D
oh yes, had lunch with ken lee, bryan quek, sarah and claire, and we went to farrer market cos SOMEONE felt like eating char kway teow, thank goodness there wasnt any moments of silences for the pieces that dropped on the table! haha. that was a good lunch though! and i'm really full! and here i am coughing again, i can taste the salty oily noodles. :( i should have eaten minced pork noodles!
(okay that has been like, there since 3.14 and i havent typed anything, cos everyone's talking to me on msn and i cant blog properly and now's almost 5, and i still havent finished and now i dont have the urge to blog alr! :( grrr. okay. i'm stopping here!)
a shout of praise.
3:14 PM
haha.. watchnight was great. although i played alot of wrong notes. but yeah, think everything was too loud to hear my tiny mistakes! haha :D which is really good.. i feel quite happy to be back in evangel. :) there was a slide presentation of the whole year.. it was wayy cool. haha. especially the way uncle alvin (he's our church president) puts jokes together, he's really good! and there were 2 new people playing for us too, haha. chloe and henry. woots. welcome welcome. kinda a pity though. 2006 marks the end of the band.. haha. we're all going different directions. i'm off to perth, nat's off to uni at the end of the yr, kelly's disappeared, shunyi's left church. yeah. no more band. :( sad. sigh. everything's falling apart. anyway, to sum the whole svc up, here are some pics for your viewing pleasure. then i'm off to sleep soon, i'm getting a headache from peach barcardi. anyways, cheers. its a new year. new things happening! and yeah, just commit every single day of the new year into god's hands. everything will turn out just fine. right? :)
a shout of praise.
2:30 AM
To the eight of you..